Stay Alive: An Autobiography

There is a song called 'In a Big Country' by Scottish legends Big Country. It's a song of hope and ambition. The first lines are "Come up Screaming". Stay Alive is the title I have given the book. I'm screaming now in the book for people who are distressed or despondent or have no voice. I had no voice for far too long and it's taken fifteen long years to say this. This is the length of time since I was first diagnosed with BI-Polar depression. I know how it feels to be elated, then depressed and back again. It is a disease that is not visible like a cast on a broken leg - you can't visibly see it but a broken limb heals; people like me must live with an ongoing process. Trying to synchronise your daily life with this can be harrowing. Stay Alive is not or intended to be an explanation of Bi-Polar because there are many eminent authorities on the subject, much better at doing this than me. Rather, it's my personal account of how I perceive this beast and how others may see me. I try to encourage people to stay alive, even at their darkest hour. Hopefully this book might touch ONE person and this is my aim. I hope that you enjoy my journey to date. He was your average member of a 'nuclear family' - 2.2 children and brought up in a loving environment. Born in England to an Irish parenthood, he lived there until the age of 4. Moving back to Ireland was not really a problem to him because he was so young. His first impressions were living in his mother's home for a while, alongside the misunderstanding of his English accent. Although quite intelligent, he was lazy in school and his attitudes until he found something that he was actually touched by. This didn't happen until year 3 of post-primary school and this quest was to result in his eventual breakdown and subsequent battles with alcohol and Bi-Polar depression. He wanted so much to be a teacher and when this was taken away he had many demons. That is until now. He now views it as positive, even through the pain and agony of failure. He is not so lazy anymore and is very happy amidst a lot of pain and malaise of the mind. He now looks forward.