The Mammoth Book of New Comic Quotes

With over 3,500 gems of recent wit, wisdom, one-liners and wisecracks, you'll never be stuck for a good line again. If you're looking for a quick quote to get the crowd on your side, struggling to put the finishing touches to a wedding speech or just want to cheer yourself and your mates up, this bumper new collection of quips for the twenty-first century provides all you'll ever need. 'Al Gore met with Donald Trump to discuss climate change. To try to explain it in terms Trump would understand, Gore said, "The planet is getting hotter than your daughter Ivanka."' Conan O'Brien 'The only time it's cool to yell, "I have diarrhoea!" is when you're playing Scrabble.' Zach Galifianakis'When the boys at school found out I had a potentially fatal peanut allergy, they used to hold me up against a wall and play Russian Roulette with a bag or Revels.' Milton JonesEntries range from put-downs, gags and one-liners to homespun philosophy, witty tweets, and movie and TV quotes. Among the contributors featured are Ricky Gervais, Sir Terry Pratchett, Harry Hill, Bill Bryson, Russell Brand, Tina Fey, Stephen Fry, Victoria Wood, Armando Iannucci, Larry David, Will Ferrell, Jeremy Clarkson and many more.